My Journey

It’s taken me four years to write this post.  And it wasn’t until I sat in Katelyn James’ living room that it finally clicked.  After bawling my eyes out sharing my story with my new workshop friends, Katelyn’s husband Michael said to me, “You can’t think this story won’t change anyones life.  It changed every single one of ours in this room.”  So the hardest things I endure hold the greatest potential for me to be a light in someone else life.


Four years ago I had my baby.  Early.  Because my water was broken in the doctors office by a pap smear stick.  My daughter came into this world fighting for her life.  I was sent home, and she stayed behind. She spent the next couple weeks in the NICU on oxygen, IV’s, and an OG tube.  

I felt like my heart was in two places at once.  Home taking care of my two other children and then back at the NICU with Emma.  She was eventually able to come home, but would have lung issues for the next several years.

 

As we were grateful she was able to come home, I started to get sick.  Passing blood clots the size of a sandwich for 30 days.  I knew something was wrong shortly after my oldest daughter’s dance recital was over.

 I had pain shooting down my legs and across my back and abdomen.  It got to the point where I needed help walking.  My mom took me into the ER and after an ultrasound I found out I had retained placenta.  I was admitted that night as they waited for my obgyn to show up in the morning.  At Noon, the PA came into my room and said they couldn’t get a hold of him and if he didn’t call back at 1pm I would get a D & C by another doctor.  At this point, I really didn’t care who preformed it, as I was in some pretty intense pain.  About a half hour later in walks my doctor.  He explained he thought I was there for my period and he was out to the movies with his family.  It wasn’t until he came home and looked at the ultrasound records that he realized what was going on.  He reassured Mike and I that this would be a quick 15 minute procedure and we’d be back home in no time.  So away I went, down to the OR.

 

As I woke up, Mike was there.  Holding my hand.  He took me home so I could sleep, and I never thought I’d have to deal with that again.  Until two weeks later.  The clots started again.  I called the obgyn’s office and came in for a visit.  My Nana came with to watch the kids, and I went back for an exam in his office.  He told me I was bleeding because my hormones were off and it probably had to do with my thyroid.  I remember saying, “No, there is something going on.  Are you sure you got it all?”  He looked at me with surprise and said, “I’ve done hundreds of thousands of D&C’s and I’ve never missed anything!”

But my gut told me he was wrong.  I called the nurse line for my insurance company and bawled on my way home.  She convinced me to go back to the ER.  As I pulled up and walked in, I was so scared.  What if it was in my head?  What if I’m wrong?  Then another ultrasound confirmed, I still had retained placenta.  My heart sank as they tried to discharge me.   I begged and pleaded, “Please, someone has to fix this!”  “No one will see you in his practice because you’re his problem.” the ER doctor told me.  I drove home feeling so defeated.  The next day I called around to every gynecologist office I had ever been to and when I explained what was going on, time and time again, they turned me away.

 I finally called my doctor’s office and explained what I was told at the ER.  “Just come into the office, we’ll do a D&C in the office and then you can go home.”  A D&C in the office??  Mike was completely against it.  “You need to be somewhere where they can take care of you if something happens”, he said.  So at 3pm Mike dropped me off at the hospital and went home to take care of the kids.  I called my mom who is a flight attendant and left her a voicemail explaining what was going on.  Little did I know, she was being rerouted back to Phoenix. “Mike dropped me off and Dad will come and get me.  I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”  I hung up the phone and walked inside.  As I got to the surgery center I gave them my name and sat down.  As the pre op nurse called me back I was nervous to see my doctor.   You see, he had delivered my son and we had such an amazing experience with him.  Mike told me over and over, while I was pregnant with Emma that he didn’t care for him and that he saw a bunch of red flags.  But being the trusting person I am, I just figured everything would be fine and Mike was over reacting.

Then in walked my mom, into the pre op room.  Angry, she quickly sat down.  “I can’t believe this is happening.”  she said.  The the curtain opened and in walked my doctor.  As he placed his hands on the end of my bed he said, “This really pisses me off.  If you could have waited 6 more weeks I would have just given you a hysterectomy!”  “A hysterectomy?”  I said.  “Yea.  You wouldn’t be having these problems if you just got a hysterectomy.”  Dumbfounded I looked to my mom.  “She’s only 27!  She wouldn’t be having these problems if you would have done your job right the first time!” she said.  He quickly walked over to the white board hanging on the wall and starts drawing.  “This is how I would do a vaginal hysterectomy.”  “Well that’s great, but we’re not here for that!”  My mom firmly said.  Then he left the room.

As the anesthesiologist sang Alicia Keys to me while wheeling me back to the OR, I had no idea how much my life was about to change.

 I slowly came out of anesthesia, I felt like someone was stabbing me.  I cried out, “What happened?  I’m in pain!”  and then I’d fall back asleep.  Again, I’d wake up crying, trying to wrap up into a ball.  “Shhhh” my mom said, wiping the hair out of my face.  “You had a hysterectomy.”  “What!!!”  and back to sleep I’d go.  Every time I’d wake up I’d start to cry.  The nurse would push dilaudid and out I’d go.  I saw my doctor out of the corner of my eye and I called his name.  He came by and told me, he’d explain in the morning.  I was taken upstairs to postpartum where I was met with a dilaudid pain pump.

My mom sat down and said, “While you were under a chunk came out and you started to hemorrhage.  The doctor packed your uterus and came out and told me it was life or death.  Either you receive a hysterectomy or you die.  You lost 500cc in under 5 minutes and it was now an emergency.”  My heart sank.  I couldn’t believe it.  What was the chunk?

Then doctor came in and said, “Ive never seen anything like this before. It’ll be interesting to see what pathology says.  I’ll come back and see you when the report is in.”  I laid in my bed pushing the pain pump 315 times.  This was the most excruciating pain I’d ever had.  Two days went by and in walked my doctor.  Tossing a paper onto my bed he said, “Here’s your pathology report.”  Being on dilaudid, and not being in the medical profession I had no clue what the paper said.  “What does this mean?”  I asked him.  He looked at me and said, “It was placenta that was still in side and my tool ruptured your uterus.”  and then he walked out of the room.  I’ve never seen him since.  All kinds of thoughts raced my mind.  “Did he do this on purpose?  Did he do this to get rid of me?  Was this an accident?  How could it be an accident when he was so angry in the pre op room?  What happens now? “

 The next few days  were rough.  All kinds of doctors and nurses came to see me.  People I had never met before said they’d never forget what happened.  I tried to piece together the puzzle.  Asking everyone in my family what was going on.  I was horrified.  I felt like a piece of my life was taken from me.

The next year was awful.  I hit menopause at 27 years old.  I wound up with a lump in my breast because my body couldn’t figure out if I was supposed to be nursing a baby or turning 65.  I went through a horrible suicidal depression.  There were nights I’d put my babies to sleep and kiss them goodnight and never know if I was going to wake up in the morning.  I questioned my relationship with God.  In fact, I felt like he didn’t even exist.  I was so angry and I felt alone.  Why?  Why did this have to happen?  I can remember crying on the floor in my bathroom because I knew I was never going to be able to be pregnant or give birth again.   I sold all my camera equipment because I knew I wouldn’t be able to photograph newborns or maternity ever again without feeling bitter.

And then I started counseling.  I started seeing my doctor and got my hormones under control.  I ate better and started using running as a way to help me with my anger. Mike stayed by my side and helped me to grow in areas I didn’t even know I could grow in.   I came across Katelyn James and I bought her Consistency Course.  I transformed my editing and I threw myself into my work.  And over the next 2 years I’d slowly start to heal.

 I want you to know, no matter what you’re going through – if you keep pushing forward it will get better.  Am I still scarred from this season in my life?  Yes.  Is it still a wound?  No.  As C.S. Lewis says, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”   This past week, I sat in Katelyn James’ home.  She asked us why we were there?  And then it clicked.  She came into my life when it was falling apart.  She didn’t know it, but she’d be a huge light at the end of my tunnel.   You never know who you’re going to affect or who’s life you may just transform.  So hug your family tonight and tell them you love them.  I know I’m so thankful I’m around to hug mine. <3

 

comments +

  1. Mom

    June 24th, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    My heart has hurt for you for all this time, knowing my decision was not your choice or how I had hoped it would turn out. I cry as I write this. I’m so happy God has brought you through this and we can spend time together. Hugs to you always!! Love you!! Mom

  2. Jenny

    June 24th, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    Wow, what a journey! Thanks so much for sharing this.

  3. amandacromer

    June 25th, 2017 at 7:16 am

  4. Jeryse

    June 25th, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    OMGOODNESS Amanda. That was a lot for you and your whole family to go through. I’m glad you and your family are together and healthy. I hope you filed a complaint on this doctor. Kudos to you for having the strength to weather this storm!

  5. amandacromer

    June 25th, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    It was! Thanks friend!

  6. Ann

    June 26th, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    What a journey! Thank you for sharing your story. I have struggled over the last 2 years since my daughter was born and the trauma it and the many losses before her birth caused. Reading your story gives me hope that even though this last month has been very trying between fighting off depression to having unexplained medical issues, it will get better. Hugs to you!! And thank you again!

  7. amandacromer

    June 27th, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Oh friend, I’m so sorry! Keep your chin up and don’t be afraid to seek guidance if you need it. It took me 6 months before I decided to go and once I did it, I felt a lot better. It was especially hard for my marriage, but like they say peonies grow through dirt and we totally did too. xo

  8. veronica

    June 26th, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    oh amanda! my heart breaks for you but also sings for joy of how the Lord used amazing people to heal your heart!

  9. amandacromer

    June 27th, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Thank you friend <3

  10. sarah

    June 26th, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Ohhh my goodness gracious sweet mama. This story is heartbreaking, except for those three beautiful babies that show up in your photos.. they are incredible. Your story sounds almost exactly like my mothers, after she delivered my baby sister who is almost 10 years younger then I. I am so glad you have found healing along the way, and that you are still here for your sweet family. What an inspiration you are

  11. amandacromer

    June 27th, 2017 at 1:16 am

    Aww thank you friend! xo

  12. Jen

    June 28th, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Amanda, this was beautiful. Such an important story to share. So sorry any of this happened to you ❤️

  13. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Thanks friend!

  14. Lisa

    June 28th, 2017 at 1:28 am

    Amanda, I had no idea! You are such an amazing and strong woman! Running a successful
    Photography business is a piece of cake in comparison! Love you girl!! ❤️

  15. Tiffany

    June 28th, 2017 at 2:39 am

    It takes a lot of courage to share your pain. I am still working on the courage part, but you have certainly given me a little push. Thanks friend.

  16. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 6:24 am

    You’ll get there. Just look at your story as either a wound or a scar. If it’s a wound, don’t share it publicly because someone will say something that can hurt you. If it’s a scar, you’ll be able to empower others when they read it. I’m sure you’ll get there friend. Sending you big hugs!

  17. Rachel Costley

    June 28th, 2017 at 5:34 am

    I’m so glad you finally wrote it and shared it. It’s beautifully written and I commend you. I hope that doctor gets what he deserves, you’re amazing girl!❤️

  18. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Aww thank you friend <3

  19. Jessica

    June 28th, 2017 at 6:20 am

    I knew when I met you that there was something special about you! You see life in a different perspective and you have a gift of capturing it. You are incredible to me for having endured all of this. I look up to you as a friend, mother, and wife. I am so sorry you’ve gone through so much pain.. I see three beautiful blessings and a strong marriage that came from all you’ve been through. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding myself and all who reads this that life is so precious. I love you!

  20. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 6:22 am

    Awwwww <3 I just love you to pieces!!! Thanks friend!!

  21. Carol Davis

    June 28th, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Amanda, Just reading your experience with your medical issues brings pain to my heart. Your writing skills are commendable. There is so much more to your experience, I feel it could fill a entire book, but would be excruciating to write.
    Having known and loved your Grandmother during a time in her life that was a painful struggle for her, much of your strength must have come from her. You come from a long line of strong women. Take comfort in that knowledge.

  22. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Thanks Aunt Carol <3

  23. Gina

    June 28th, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you for sharing sweet girl! KJ is one of a kind and I’m so grateful the Lord brought her kind and generous self into your life to help heal. Praying so much sweet girl and so sorry this has happened!!!! But praying immense joy over you and your family!

  24. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    Aww thank you Gina <3

  25. BodilyIntegrity4ALL

    June 28th, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    The doctor could have stitched your uterus up, like they would if performing a c-section. He could likely have done an emergency c-section & corrected what he did, if not done purposefully/intentionally. You can also have a uterine transplant possibly, it is something you could look into.

  26. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    Thank you! The thought of him stitching it never even occurred to us until several months later. He told my mom it was life or death and that I HAD to have the hysterectomy.

  27. Angelica

    June 28th, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    I may not have gone through the same thing but the positivity, faith, and encouragement from what you been through is so inspiring in many ways. Thank you

  28. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    Thanks for reading it 🙂

  29. Karen

    June 28th, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    I am so sorry. I am glad that you are sharing your story and healing. Did you file a complaint against the doctor?

  30. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Thanks Karen! And, yes I did.

  31. Michelle

    June 28th, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    Wow! I don’t know you but my heart aches for you and all you have been through! I found myself wishing your story ended with “and then we sued that dumb-ass doctor and got him to stop practicing medicine”…

  32. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Oh girlfriend, I wish that’s how it ended! Thanks for the smiles 🙂

  33. Ashley Klements

    June 28th, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    Hi, I know you don’t know me, and I don’t know how I came across this post on Facebook, but I really hope you file a lawsuit against that doctor. He should not be allowed to treat people that way. He caused your hemorrhage and you could’ve died on his table. He acted like it was your fault. It wasn’t. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Nobody deserves to be treated that way I’ve had a bad experience with an OB in the ER pushing me to take cytotex to clear my miscarriage to find out a week later that baby is still alive. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant now. I filed a large complaint with HR and they are investigating the incident. I really hope you filed some type of complaint. I am very sorry you went through this. You are very strong.

  34. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    Oh friend! I’ll be praying for you and your baby! I would write the medical board and let them know what happened to you. I contacted the hospital and it was like pulling teeth to get them to do anything. I’m praying you’ll have better luck! Hugs

  35. Nancy Edwards

    June 28th, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    I am so sorry that you went through this. Arrogant doctors cause these problems and get away with it… not caring about how much it is going to change our lives. “Dr” Thomas Spencer caused me to have emergency surgery to repair his mess up and I also went through the suicidal depression. I am happy for you that you are able to overcome. God bless you

  36. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    Thanks Nancy! I’m so sorry you went through similar events 🙁 I’m glad you’re ok!

  37. Lyndi

    June 28th, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    I’m so glad you posted this. He now practices in the small town I live in and everyone loves him (we haven’t had many great doctors) I delivered my first son out of town because of our lack of doctors, well my experience wasn’t great. So when this new “great” dr showed up I was excited that I could stay local with my next planned pregnancy. Thanks to you, that won’t be happening. I will do some research and seek an out of town Obgyn. Thank you. I’m so glad you and your husband pushed through this nightmare and can look back and help others.

  38. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Lyndi – you are the EXACT reason I wrote this blog. If I could help just ONE person avoid what I went through then my job was done. Thank you for reaching out! <3

  39. Rose Johnson

    June 28th, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    I feel for you so deeply on this. I had a very similar experience…… doctor induced fertility nightmares, leading to a full hysterectomy. It took so many years to move on past it all, emotionally and spiritually. Most people will not understand the nightmare, but God does. My prayers are with you and your sweet family.

  40. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Thank you Rose! I’m praying for you <3

  41. Joleen Chambers

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    You don’t know me, Amanda. A fellow patient advocate provided the link to your story. Please consider sharing it again with Consumers Union Safe Patient Project and National Center for Health Research. As a trained Patient Representative for the FDA/CDRH, I am astounded that medical harm to women frequently begins with fertility/reproduction interventions. Pelvic surgical mesh is implanted after difficult childbirth, Bayer Essure sterilization is inserted before women even recover from deliveries, depression is a result of frustration, confusion and righteous indignation, power morcellation and hysterectomy are profitable and expose women to further harm. Please keep talking about your experience. IT WILL SAVE LIVES!

  42. amandacromer

    June 28th, 2017 at 8:55 pm

    Awww Joleen! Thank you! Can you email me hello@amandacromer.com and you can help me share it? SO many other patients of his have reached out to me expressing their loss of a child, and others going through the same situation and I want to help as many as I can. I know they’re willing to share as well.

  43. Alyssa

    June 28th, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    As a nurse (and decent person) I’m horrified at how your doctor treated you. I wish someone had advocated for you or been able to help more somewhere along the way. I’m so sorry this happened but I’m so glad you’ve made it through.

  44. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:16 am

    Thanks Alyssa <3

  45. Emily Fawcett

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:09 am

    Thank you for sharing! I’m so grateful for wonderful people that are in our lives for a reason!!

  46. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:16 am

    Thank you for reading <3

  47. Lindsey Isaacs

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:14 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story. I often tell myself, “If in the end things are not made right, it is NOT yet the end.” Your story of strength is awe inspiring and WILL help SO many! <3

  48. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:19 am

    I love that quote! I’m going to adopt it for myself! Thanks for sharing Lindsey, xo

  49. Kim

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:16 am

    Can you share the Drs name and what hospital?
    Bless you for sharing your story. Your babies are beautiful!

  50. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:19 am

    This was at Banner Del E Webb, but he’s since moved around a lot. Michael Bryan

  51. Tiffanie Leffler

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:46 am

    Hi Amanda, you don’t know me, but I read your post on Facebook. I had retained placenta as well and haven’t met anyone or heard of anyone else experiencing it. I too had a nightmare experience and suffered depression and panic attacks. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had to go through such trauma, but do find comfort in your story.

  52. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:18 am

    I’m glad you’re ok Tiffanie! Sending you hugs!!

  53. Sarah

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:15 am

    I’m so thankful that you are alive and able to enjoy your family still. I’m so sorry., prayers. I want you to understand as a health professional I see sadly how patients do not realize their power even if cones yo their treatment. This Dr. was wrong on Donna by levels. I hope that you take action against him. You just wantbit in your past and I’m sorry to point this out. But too often when things like this happen the Dr gets away with it bc the patient or family doesn’t want more stress or reminders. This way another family may not have to go through this. Thank you Fiore your story. It was very brace of you. God bless you!!!

  54. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:18 am

    Thanks Sarah! We fought for a couple years trying to get a lawyer to take our case. It’s so hard and it really wrecks havoc on your emotions.

  55. Kay

    June 29th, 2017 at 8:37 am

    I guess the last three paragraphs would have been excluded if you’d tried sharing this immediately after it happened. What a story of hope you’ve survived to tell. Awesome to see how God’s worked through the pain.

  56. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Thank you Kay <3

  57. Amanda smith

    June 29th, 2017 at 10:49 am

    You are a very strong woman and I am so sorry for what you went through. I don’t think I would be able to be as strong as you were.

  58. Jcrow

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:06 am

    I really hope you filed a complain against him and a lawsuit.

  59. Susan

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:10 am

    I hope you have spoken to a lawyer. This sounds very similar to other doctors who have been charged for making-practice and insurance fraud. There is big money to be had in performing these procedures. Dentists do things like this and are less likely to be caught due to the lower risk, but there are doctors in every field who do this. OBGYNs are actually quite guilty of performing many unnecessary procedures for the money. If you have decent insurance, they’ll make excuses to have you come back and perform unnecessary procedures. If this is the case for your situation then he’ll only do it again but try harder to not get caught. It’s important to know your rights and speak with an attorney as well as prevent him from doing this to more women.

  60. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Wow I didn’t know that! Thank you for sharing! That’s awful 🙁

  61. Michelle Schiess

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:32 am

    I too am glad that you shared your story and so thankful for people who influence us enough to find the joy in our lives. Sharing your story is still a part of your healing journey and I’m glad it’s already helping others! I found you via a friend who shared your story in an entrepreneur group I’m in. Your three little blessings are a true treasure! May God bless you and your family abundantly! Karma has no deadline for that doctor. Hugs to you.

  62. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Thank you friend!! xo

  63. Jessica Gutierrez-Herrera

    June 29th, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Amanda, we haven’t met, I read your post on Facebook. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I don’t have the right words at this moment, because I just can’t believe it.
    Thank God you’re alive and have that wonderful family!

    Sending you a big hug from Austin, TX.

  64. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Aww thank you!! Hugs!! <3

  65. Anesha Collins

    June 29th, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. You’re a strong woman. You also encouraged me to share my story.

  66. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Good! Share it to the world and help empower other women! You got this!

  67. Tiffany Smith

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    I think this is so brace for you to share and you are so strong. ❤️❤️

  68. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Thank you friend!

  69. Tiffany Smith

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    I think this is so brave for you to share and you are so strong❤️❤️

  70. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Thank you friend!

  71. SMR

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    It was no accident I cam across this post. I sit here, nearly 17 months after I had my daughter. I had a horrible 4th degree tear, which didn’t heal properly and most likely needs to be fixed with a surgery that may or may not completely correct it. I’ve been struggling with hormone issues and depression. Most days I feel like I’m just faking it until I can get home and go to bed. On top of that, sex is impossible, my relationship with my incredibly understanding and patient husband is still great, but obviously missing an important component. My struggles are mostly hidden to those around me. It’s not as if I go around posting my symptoms/pain/lack of intimacy to my friends. It’s private and many can’t understand. However, your post was encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for sharing and encouraging others! Big hugs to you sister!

  72. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Awww friend I am SO sorry! I’ll be praying for you. I can totally relate to the husband portion. It’s tough but we are so loved. Hugs!

  73. Ashley

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Thank you for sharing! I feel like you have opened my eyes by sharing your experience. I had never heard of waters being broken accidentally by a pap smear stick, but I had a nightmare about it happening to me 2 nights ago! I am 26 weeks pregnant and in my dream my OB did it purposefully, so I was surprised when I read your story this morning! Thank you for your courage in sharing.

  74. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Oh Ashley! Praying for a safe delivery for you and your baby when the right time comes!

  75. Emily

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    Wow. This is so eloquently written. What a powerful story, thanks for sharing.

  76. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Thank you for reading it and for your kind words!

  77. Sympathetic Reader

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Bawling, not balling. You didn’t actually “ball” your eyes out, I hope. I have only read the first two sentences and this glared at me. Thank you for writing this.

  78. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    <3

  79. Laura N

    June 29th, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    Hi Amanda,
    I came across your story this morning and am so heartbroken that ever happened to you. The system isn’t FOR victims of this sort of thing, but what you experienced was obstetric violence in its worst form. If you are up for it, contact Human Rights in Childbirth or Birth Monopoly. Tell them your story. They have helped other women get justice for this sort of thing. It will never undo what has been done but perhaps that monster will never be allowed to practice and harm another person again. I’m truly sorry and do glad you’ve found some healing in your journey.

  80. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    Thank you Laura! I will reach out to them both!

  81. Jessica

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    What a touching story !! Thank you for sharing ! You’re so brave !God is so good !

  82. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    He is good 🙂

  83. Jess

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    I too had a similar experience with a different doctor. I was given a hysterectomy at 26, being told there was no other choice. I understand your pain. Stay strong for your babies.

  84. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Awww hugs Jess!

  85. Mandi Mitchell

    June 29th, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    I did one of her workshops as well almost 4 years ago and started blogging regularly after that. We are dealing with infertility and I just got diagnosed with endometriosis; and I have more people comment and follow my posts that are about our infertility than my wedding posts pull in. I know people are being touched by my willingness to share my story. I know the Lord is using my story for His greater purpose.

    That being said, I am SO very sorry this happened to you. My heart breaks for your story and what you had to go through. I cannot even imagine- first going through a NICU baby b/c of that; but then to deal with everything else?? WOW. Thank you for sharing and being brave to share your story.

  86. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Thanks Mandi <3 Hugs!

  87. Steph

    June 29th, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    I saw this posted in a FB group and wanted to tell you that you are amazing. Although it was for different reasons, I too have gone through deep depression. I feel as I still am on some days but to read your story of struggle and triumph has given me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sorry you had to go through this but thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s so very inspiring.

  88. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Aww sending you hugs Steph! <3

  89. Michelle Buckhannon

    June 29th, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Dear Amanda, I hope you’ve looked into filing a medical malpractice lawsuit and filed a complaint with the Arizona Medical Board. Maybe the AMB needs to do some re-education with this doctor or do an audit on his practice. I’m grateful you shared your story. I’ve had six miscarriages and six live births ( and one adopted baby too!) and So after all that, I had to have a hysterectomy and bladder and bowel repair and haven’t been the same since. I was finished having children tho and older. Just sharing for you to know I empathize with you. My heart goes out to you. May God bless you with continued healing and for being brave to share your story to help others.

  90. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    Thank you Michelle! I’ve had to have a few more surgeries to fix what this one did. Thank you for sharing and for your sweet words!

  91. Melissa

    June 29th, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    Amanda! I saw your post on RTS Facebook page. I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story! I’m currently going through infertility trying to get pregnant with our first so I can understand the heartache. Be strong sister, God is using you for his glory thats for sure! <3

  92. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Aww hugs Melissa!!! Praying for you!

  93. Dr. Q

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    Amanda, you are an amazing woman with an amazing family. Thank you for sharing your story. Until we meet again, take care. ❤

  94. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Oh Dr. Q!!! How we miss you! I’m so grateful you were around for this season of my life. Hugs!

  95. Kathleen Anzivino

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    Your story has inspired me. The raw emotion you feel reading your story is crazy. I hurt with you as i read what you’ve been through. God is truly using your transparency to mend others hurt. Thank you.

  96. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Thank you!

  97. Elizabeth Zimmerman

    June 29th, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    WOW! This is insane and awful, but you’ve really turned it into as positive a thing as you can. Thank you for sharing your story!! <3

  98. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Thank you for reading it!

  99. ERICA MORGAN

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Reading your story brought tears to my eyes, I to am going through menopause at 25 years old and it is in no way shape or form easy. I feel like I’m a crazy person that everyone (including my 3 children) would be much better off without me. My husband has been so strong and amazing being by my side through all of this always reassuring me that we will get through this together no matter what may come. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I am so sorry for what you had to go through and for the way your DOCTOR treated you.

  100. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Oh Erica!! Hugs!!! I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. I thought for the longest time it would be better if I wasn’t here. I constantly felt like a burden. I’d kiss my kids goodnight and pray that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. My husband and my kids deserved a wife and a mom who was going to be there for them. Someone who I used to be that I no longer was. I did counseling and that helped a little bit but the best thing I did was get my hormones fixed. I don’t take hormones, but I do take supplements. Staying away from sugar helps a lot too. Give yourself time and be thankful you have an amazing husband who loves you. Your kids deserve to have their mom, and your husband deserves to have his wife. You deserve to live a happy life and it can happen. If you are able to see a NP doctor they are the best at helping. I’m happy to share what I take and where I get it from (amazon or vitacost) if you want to shoot me an email. Stay strong girlfriend! We can do it together! Hugs

  101. Aaronica

    June 29th, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    I have so many words… but I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I’m filled with rage on your behalf. But thank you for sharing. Your words have sooooooo much power.

  102. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    Thank you for reading it!

  103. Katie

    June 29th, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    If it has been less than 2 years since the incident and you live in NJ or PA let me know. I will link you to a lawyer that will help you.

  104. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    I’m in AZ 🙁

  105. Judy Beeman

    June 29th, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    I’m so sorry. What a horrible doctor. He should not have touched you after the first incidence. I hope he loses his license. I can only imagine the journey it put you on.

  106. Neva Sosh

    June 29th, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    I too think a lawsuit would be in order. Not go up ishment, because what punishment could restore what you’ve been robbed of. But allowing a doctor to continue to practice and treat others with the same arrogant disregard that was shown to you is another issue.
    May God continue to work all things together for your good.

  107. amandacromer

    June 29th, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    Thank you Neva!

  108. Kimberly

    June 29th, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Please tell us his name —-so others can be spared.

  109. Cindy

    June 30th, 2017 at 1:23 am

    Hi Amanda. I understand. I had a routine colonoscopy and was told it was normal to wake up in severe pain that lasted two days, along with bloody diacharge. Called office several times to b put off…ended up in ER 5 days later septic, with a ruptured colon. Told I needed surgery or I would die, and would poss have a colostomy bag when I woke up. A week in hospital, pneumonia developed because they forgot my pain med orders after my pump was taken off 36 hour post op and it hurt too badly to breathe, despite begging for even a Tylenol, at which I was told no. 4 months later I am still not back to myself and down 20 lbs. (the only good thing!) I may never b the same. But I am here and with my wonderful husband and two children and my furry kids. I pray for you and for healing! I understand……

  110. Sarah Wong

    June 30th, 2017 at 3:33 am

    Are you suing him and the hospital? Because you absolutely should be. That is assault and battery. I am not kidding. This man needs to lose his license, and the hospital needs to learn that covering for someone like him is more costly in the long run than doing the right thing. If you are at a place in your healing where you can handle the struggle of a legal proceedings, please initiate one, not just for yourself, but for the sake of all the other women who will suffer similar experiences until we teach them that they can’t do this anymore. And yes, you CAN win; there is precedent in similar cases.

  111. Imogen

    June 30th, 2017 at 9:49 am

    This must have been such an incredibly painful time for you both emotionally and physically. My heart aches for you. But you’re strong, very strong – remember that X

    http://www.imogenrose.co.uk

  112. Ashley Durham

    June 30th, 2017 at 11:34 am

    I am glad you’re okay but OMG!! I hope you brought charges down on this doctor, that is absolutely vile!

  113. Lindsey

    June 30th, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    I am a mother of 5 here in AZ. I didn’t go through exactly what you went through but I have had some hard times. I really appreciated your post. There are things to learn from each other in every situation. Being open and sharing your experience with others is the only way we can learn and be inspired by your story. I am so glad you did, and it inspires me to be open and share my story, in the hopes that it will help someone. ❤

  114. amandacromer

    June 30th, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Thank you Lindsey! I’d love to read yours someday!

  115. Melissa O

    June 30th, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Thank you for sharing. Did you ever get pathology report? I had a hysterectomy with my 2nd child due to placenta percreta/acceleration. I was diagnosed at 20 weeks and dr made very involved plan immediately. They said the only way I wouldn’t bleed out is to have the vaginal hysterectomy after the c-section. praying for you.

  116. amandacromer

    June 30th, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    I did get a pathology report and that was not listed on it. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I’m glad you’re safe and your doctor took care of you!

  117. Melissa O

    June 30th, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Correction: that was supposed to say accreta not acceleration.

  118. Tina Bute

    July 2nd, 2017 at 1:20 am

    I’m sorry, thank you for sharing, i had similar birth my uterus ruptured right after delivery (vbac) it was horrible placenta came out in pieces i lost 8u blood total body volume, and woke up with hysterectomy too. I can relate to all you said…lots of counseling with traumatic delivery and hysterectomy…great story you are strong

  119. Christina Waalkens

    July 4th, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    I do not know you but I am honored to read your story. My friend d Tai posted the link to your story and I am so glad she did. Your a strong amazing woman. I’m glad you came out on top and I wish to you and your family great blessing.

  120. amandacromer

    July 5th, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Aww thanks friend <3

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ARIZONA - worldwide

@AMANDA_CROMER_PHOTOGRAPHY

Capturing Love Stories Worldwide 

Amanda Cromer is an Arizona Wedding Photographer and Arizona Engagement Photographer and Arizona Elopement Photographer most commonly servicing weddings at The Windmill Winery, Verrado Golf Club, and other cities including Phoenix, Scottsdale, Fountain Hills, Peoria, Glendale, Surprise, Buckeye, Florence, Gilbert, Chandler, Cave Creek, Sedona, Flagstaff and Mesa.